Kyuubi Jubilee
by Sarge Ray
Summary: Parody of "Duck Amuck". Naruto has a few problems when he becomes victimized by the cartoonist...


_THIS is a parody of what I consider the GREATEST cartoon to hit television._

_Prepare to laugh…_

Fox-in-a-Box

In the deep forest of Konoha, Naruto sprang through the trees, chasing some kind of enemy.

"Good news, Kakashi-sensei, I think we're catching up to 'em!" he said, enthusiastically. But at that time, the trees and background seemed to disappear when Naruto landed on the ground. He took notice and looked at the blank whiteness.

"Kakashi-sensei…?" he asked, curiously, "The enemy…?"

Naruto tiptoed off-screen and poked his head out the side. "Hey, concept artist?" he hissed, "The scenery? Can't have an anime without scenery, can ya?"

As Naruto ducked back off-screen, a large set of pens and markers did their work. The only problem was that it wasn't a forest at all: far from it. It was a path with a clear, sunny sky, and ripe, green grass.

"Alright, Kakashi-sensei! We gotta be…" Naruto suddenly noticed the background; as far from action as one could get. He sighed in disbelief. "Okay, have it your way!"

Naruto zipped off-screen, then came back with a gentle stride, a pack slung over his back, and he was humming a gentle tune with his eyes closed. When he opened them, he noticed that the scenery had once again changed. This time, it was a roaring, snowy tundra.

Naruto turned to the camera with a flat look. "Can we just pick a scenery and, I don't know, STAY WITH IT?!" he asked, furiously.

Naruto stormed off-camera, then came back in his winter garbs (think Land of the Snow movie) as he walked against the wind. Yet when he turned to his left, he realized he was on a tropical island. He gave it a flat look, then trudged off to change costumes again.

Naruto, in some tropical clothing, spread out a towel just on the ocean line and got ready to give himself a good tan. That was…until he turned around and realized that the beach was no longer there.

"Buddy, this might be a shock, but I must remind you that THIS is an anime series." Naruto said to the writer, "And in EVERY anime, they need SCENERY! And in all the years I…"

As Naruto spoke, a giant pencil eraser came down and erased his entire body. For a second, there was silence until Naruto's disembodied voice asked, "Alright, you jerk. Where am I?"

After a flurry of pens, brushes, and pencils, Naruto appeared in a karate robe. Obviously, the artist wanted him to do a little training moves.

The fox-boy shrugged. It was what he did for a living anyway.

Naruto flexed his hand, wanting to perform the Rasengan…nothing happened. Noticing the odd silence, he took out a scroll and scribbled something on it.

"Sound Effects Please!"

On hearing the noise of a running disk, Naruto tried to perform the Rasengan. But instead, what he got was a sound analogous to an AK-47 being fired. He stumbled back in shock, then tried again.

He got an elephant's trumpet.

Naruto trudged off-camera, then came back in his usual orange getup. He opened his mouth to speak, but oddly enough, someone else's voice came through his mouth…and his lips hadn't even moved yet.

"Four score and seven years ago…"

Naruto clapped a hand over his mouth, then tried to speak again. Again, someone else's voice came through his open mouth.

"I had a dream."

Naruto snapped his mouth shut, then peeped it open to receive a frog's croak. Then the ninja's face turned fiery-red and he exploded in a fit of gibberish. He only came out saying…

"AND I'VE NEVER BEEN SO HUMILIATED IN ALL MY LIFE!!!"

Naruto caught himself, then lowered his accusing finger and stared at the camera, flatly.

"Now, listen up, old man." He said, trying to be reasonable, "How about some scenery?"

Naruto walked off and a pencil and pen immediately drew an alleyway of Konoha.

"Oh, that's nice." Naruto said, sarcastically, "That's REAL nice. YOU FORGOT THE COLOR, STUPID!"

Suddenly, a giant paintbrush raced down and caught Naruto full in the back of the head.

"HEY!"

Naruto tried shielding himself from the brush, but it proved in vain. When it was finished, Naruto had been painted into a multitude of colors. Steam shot out of his ears as he shrieked at the top of his lungs…

"NOT ME, YOU IDIOT!!!"

Naruto vented his rage through his breathing as the eraser came down and erased his whole body save his face: eyes, nose, and mouth.

"Well? Where's the REST of me?" he asked, "It's not like this is rocket science! It's simply distinguishing a character!"

While Naruto continued talking, the brush came back and painted a body for him…the wrong kind. When the brush was finished, Naruto's face was on a monkey's head. That head was attached to an alligator's body, and said body was attached to platypus feet and a warthog's tail. And that tail was adorned with a flag that had the kanji for "nut" and "ball".

"I mean, it's not that I live up to expectations-huh. Suddenly, I feel…odd." Naruto said with a shrug, "I mean, I feel fine and all, but I…I…"

The brush suddenly drew a mirror in front of Naruto and he looked right into it. Naruto shrieked in surprise, then turned and faced the artist.

"WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT ABOUT?!" he asked, trying not to scream…though he recently already did.

The eraser came down, erased the mirror AND Naruto and left it blank for a moment.

"WELL?!"

In a flurry of brushes, Naruto was on a boat in the ocean, an island in the distance.

"Ooh, a sea journey." He said, actually sounding satisfied, "Now, if I can get to that island, maybe we can get a decent storyline."

Naruto suddenly looked down to realize that the boat was gone. The artist had erased it when he wasn't looking.

SPLASH!

Naruto fell into the water, then paddled his way over to the island. Oddly enough, the camera didn't seem to follow him.

"Hey!" he called over, "C'mere! Gimme a close-up! Y'know? Focus on ME?!"

The camera did follow him…but it was a small square in a completely black background.

"This is NOT a close-up! GIMME A CLOSE…" Naruto's speech was cut off when the camera zoomed into him and pressed his face into the lens. "Too close! TOO CLOSE!"

The camera backed up a little as Naruto massaged his face. "That's better, but still this is NOT WORKING OUT."

Naruto took a deep breath, trying to calm down, then said, "Now, can we just get to an understanding already?"

WHAM!

A piece of dark matter from the ceiling fell down to thump Naruto on the noggin.

"NOW WHAT?!" he asked, impatiently. Fortunately, the artist made a support plank, which Naruto used to prop up the stuff. "Geez, where's the maintenance when you need it? Now, as I was saying…"

With a snap, the plank broke and the black matter came crashing down on Naruto, sending him to the ground. Naruto heaved and grunted as he tried to keep it off him, using even a leg to try and prop it up. Eventually, it became too hard for him to do it and he ended up crushed beneath it…

The experience only lasted five seconds because, then, Naruto emitted a frustrated roar and began to tear apart the black stuff. Breathing heavily, Naruto was MORE than irritated at what had happened.

"Alright…" he wheezed, "Let's get this picture started."

THE END

"NO!" Naruto shrieked pushing the 'The End" away, "NO!!!!"

Naruto took a deep breath through his nose, then breathed out his mouth to calm himself. "Alright, this has been enough. From now on, I will go MY way, doing MY thing. And you can go YOUR way being a…writer and artist. I'll take it upon myself to entertain this audience as I see fit."

Naruto began to perform a few martial arts moves, but then the brush suddenly came in to draw something.

"Now what?" Naruto asked, the brush right behind him.

From behind Naruto came an exact clone of him. "What're YOU doing in my show?" it asked.

"YOUR show?" the REAL Naruto asked, "What do you think I'M doing here?"

Both circled each other, sizing themselves up. "Listen, buddy, if you weren't me, I'd beat the living crap out of you!"

"Don't let THAT get in your way." The clone informed.

"Okay, buddy! YOU ASKED FOR IT!" Naruto growled.

Naruto readied a punch, but just as he threw it, the eraser came in and erased the clone. Naruto socked the air and fell flat-out on his face.

A split-second later, the brush had returned and painted a Sasuke punching bag.

"Huh." Naruto said, amusedly, "Ya know what I like…"

Naruto went wild with his moves, but as he wound up a knockout punch, the brush added a motion-sensitive paper bomb to the back. The minute Naruto punched the dummy…

BAM!

Naruto, covered in soot and ash, stood there and coughed a small smoke puff. He shook himself clean, then turned to face the artist.

"Alright, that's it! THIS IS IT, I TELL YOU!" he screamed, "WHO is responsible for this-this…? I DEMAND that you show yourself! WHO ARE YOU, HUH?!"

The brush created a door in front of Naruto and the eraser of a large pencil gently coaxed it shut, silencing Naruto immediately.

--

At the cartoonist table, a man in a gray suit, red coat, and a head of long, white hair nodded at his work. He turned to the viewer to show red markings under his eyes and a wart on his nose.

"Hehehehe…" Jiraiya chuckled, "Ain't I a stinka?"

**_That's All, Folks!_**

_Hope you Naruto and Loony Tunes fans enjoyed this. I couldn't resist…_


End file.
